


She's No Angel (Chapter Two)

by Sithlordintraining



Series: She's No Angel [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Kylo's back to win the heart of the FO sweetheart, The Galaxy's Sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-04-30 04:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14488806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sithlordintraining/pseuds/Sithlordintraining
Summary: Matt, a mere radar technician, seems to enjoy bullying and pushing the much-beloved reader to the edge. But little does he know, she’s going to throw his life into a whirlwind.





	1. Part 11

**Author's Note:**

> (Spongebob Narrator Voice) Two Months Later…

It’s been almost a good two months and you could honestly say, it was a much needed vacation. Although it was filled with seeing therapist and doctors, you didn’t have to go to work, you were cared for, and had weekly visits from the Captain and the General. Well, it was daily for Hux. You guys still had breakfast and he also squeezed in dinner. It was to make sure everything was up to his expectations; which meant you got star treatment. And this star treatment rubbed off unto Lucky as well. You would constantly sneak into his room to talk or play games or be with him in rehab. Of course, Ava, the nurse who begged to worked with him constantly gave you dirty looks or kicked you out.

You walked your way down the hallway on your daily visit to Lucky. Opening the door, you didn’t expect to see the General speaking to Lucky. Both of them turned to look at you. The expression on Lucky’s face made your heart stop. General Hux stepped forward. “Y/N.” You gulped as he made his way towards you, putting his hands on your shoulders. “I’ve been told about the nuisance you two have been causing and I think it’s best for you two to not see each other anymore.” Your mouth fell open. “What?” You turned to face him. “Lucky?” Lucky looked up at you from his seat on the hospital bed. “Angel, it’s for the best if I get reconditioned.” You stepped back in disbelief. “But, General?” He put his hand on your shoulder, but you brushed it off. Hux was shocked at your action. You breathed heavily in disbelief. “Angel!” “Y/N!” They called out for you as you fled the room crying.

You entered your medroom, that was now dark. You broke down and you heard footsteps fall behind you. “Y/N.” Hux said softly. “Why are you doing this?” You spun around. “Y/N, after everything, I think it’s best-” He moved closer to you. “But, Lucky’s my only friend.” You let your head fall unto his shoulder. He engulfed you and rubbed circles on your back. “Y/N, I’m sorry. But it’s for the best. And you will resume work tomorrow. Pushing back the visit has put some tension between us and the planet.” He said sternly. You shook your head and sucked up the tears. You had to get it together. You didn’t work this hard, to end up crying like a baby in a dark room.

* * *

A month had passed and it was the longest most-miserable month of your life. You only talked to the General and the Captain. You stuck to yourself and you haven’t seen Lucky. But you didn’t think you would ever see him again. To cope with your loneliness, you began making a list of things you wanted to share with Lucky; it ranged from dreams, nightmares, goals, secrets, and feelings. Like every morning and night, you jot down what you would tell him, if you ever got the chance. Before leaving your quarters today, you typed one more down: I’m sorry for everything. Just like everyday, you and the General made your way down the hallway through the sea of troopers. Before you would search through to find Lucky. But now, you walked down without expression and tuning the General out the majority of the times. Snapping out of it when the General had stopped to receive a message from a trooper. You looked through them as they continued to communicate. “Ma’am.” The troopers attention turned to you. “Trooper.” You looked down at his identification code. FN-0777. Your eyes shot up to his helmet. Tears started to fill your eyes. “Trooper FN-0777.” The trooper stated. “Yes-yes, I know.” You shook your head. “Ma’am?” “Yes?” “I’d rather you call me Lucky, Angel.” Your breath hitched. A small smile fell on your lip as a tear slipped down. Lucky excused himself as you turned to look at the General. “You-you didn’t do it?” Hux shook his head. “No, you’ve been hurt enough, I couldn’t inflict more pain.” Without thinking your wrapped your arms around him, in a tight hug. He hesitated to hug back, due to being in public. Seeing no one insight, he wrapped his arms around you. “But please, keep communication to a minimum.”

* * *

Sneaking to see Lucky had became frequent, with the help of the Captain; it was easier for him to sneak into your quarters. “Lucky!” You flung your arms around him. He squeezed you tightly. “Angel.” He nuzzled his face in the side of your neck. He let you go and you went to get him something to drink. “So how’s the trooper training?” You asked. “Eh, it’s ok, thank you.” He accepted the glass. “I wish I was out there in the field or accompanying you, instead.” Ever since his recovery, Phasma has put him under her instruction to help train the new soldiers. “I know you do, but it’s for the best. You are still recovering.” You reached across the table to grab his hand. “I know, Ava said I’m doing well for such critical conditions.” You retracted your hand at her name. “Angel, she’s just helping.” You rolled your eyes. “Come on Angel, I still don’t understand why you girls don’t get along. It’s been years since whatever happened, happened.” You crossed your arms ignoring him.

“But speaking of people the others don’t like, I know it’s been months, but how do you feel about Matt? I mean, I know he was being a dick, but, I know you liked him and I know he got spaced. Do you want to talk about it?” You sighed taking a seat next to him. “Well, I mean what is there to talk about? He’s spaced and he’s gone and I’ll never see him again.” Lucky’s face twisted up. “Angel, as much as I hate to admit it, after the whole Matt situation, you’ve changed.” You gulped. “Even after everything that dumbass Commander did, you act unbothered. But, with Matt you lock yourself up and you just shut down.” You adverted his gaze. “Fine, Lucky if you want to talk about it then fine.” Lucky eyes widened as your voice raised. “Matt wasn’t real. Matt was fake. Kylo Ren was pretending to be Matt to see if there was spies and he just happened to fall for me. I was a complete fool and fell for him too and now I’m hurt. It hurts. I want someone I can’t have because he’s not real. And now I can’t do anything without Hux’s approval and you’re just happy with Ava all over you, and I’m just fucking here.” You threw your hands up storming out of your own quarters.

You were fuming, you just didn’t want to think about it. Sometimes, it haunted you in your dreams and you would think that everything was fine and Matt and Kylo were two different people, physically. But then you woke up to remember everything. You marched down random hallways as you tried to calm your breathing. You were on the brink of tears as your vision started to blur. Hearing a laugh, you turned around seeing a familiar tall, blond turning the corner. You knew it was Matt, so you followed him. You kept walking and turning to speed up to catch him. Finally, you threw your hand on his shoulder causing him to turned around. You jumped back. “Oh, I-I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.” The blue-eyed blond nodded. “It’s alright, Ambassador.”


	2. Part 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He’s back…

It’s been three months since anyone had seen the infamous Kylo Ren after the incident. To say everything was perfect without him, was an understatement. Everyone worked together and didn’t live in fear, as well as Hux being the only one in control. But today was the day he was coming back. His command shuttle landed and he exited in the familiar silence of the hangar with his Knights in tow. Their boots echoed the hall as the made their way to the board room. While you waited with the General and the Captain. They were trying to take your mind off the fact that your crush/superior/kidnapper was making his way here and would be in an hour long meeting with you. The small smile that would every so often grace your lips, was enough to keep the General calm. He was dreading this day and became more and more protective and high strung as the days grew closer. Phasma, on the other hand, could see through it. With a message alerting the General, the Commander was on his way, everyone took their position. “I’ll stand by you the whole time, Ambassador,” Phasma whispered before slipping her helmet back on. “Thank you.”

The doors slide open, revealing the dreaded man himself and his Knights. Everyone turned to watch them. Obnoxiously, they all stomped in spreading out in various areas in the room. Kylo marched himself to the seat closest to you. “Commander.” Phasma was the first to speak up. “Captain.” He nodded. He turned his attention to the General and were now having a staring contest. At the same time, they snarled. “Hux.” “Ren.” Slowly he turned to face you. Hux and Phasma tensed up keeping a watchful eye on Kylo; Kylo’s men head turned to face you as well. Uncomfortably sitting back in your chair, you gulped turning to face him. “Hello, Commander.” He simply stared at you for a while. A hum escaped his vocoder “Ambassador Y/N L/N.” The meeting continued and basically was a recap of the diplomatic mission ahead. “The leader of Likhula isn’t pleased that we had to push the meeting back three months, so don’t be surprised if there is tension and he might want to negotiate a lot of the things we already set in the contract. So I need you,” Hux looked Kylo dead in the visor. “To be on your best behavior.” Quickly, Kylo responded “I don’t expect anything less. We’re all friends here.” You, the General, and the Captain turned to face him with bulging eyes. Was he serious? The meeting continued uncomfortably like this. He was very calm and very sarcastic, whatever he did in his three months definitely made him act weird. “Now to ensure everything goes by smoothly, you will be on two separate ships with your own security, you’ve got it?” “Well, General as much as you would like, we are on a mission to work together and she is under my jurisdiction when off the base,” Kylo told Hux. This was going to be a long visit.

* * *

The next day, you walked nestled between Phasma and Hux as they escorted you to the hangar. Hux just went over a few basics that he felt the need to remind you, even though he knew you would do perfectly fine. Your small legion of troopers was waiting for you in front of your ship; which next to the Commanders made it look so tiny. Lucky was there. Even though he wasn’t approved to fly out, he was still leading for your little group. You wish he was coming to keep you at ease, but then again you didn’t want the Commander to kill him, or vice versa. You all stopped in front of the hangar and the General laid his hands on your shoulder. “Now Y/N, if you need anything, do not hesitate to contact one of us.” The Captain nodded in agreement. “I won’t.” You said. The sound of Kylo Ren’s and his henchman alerted everyone. Kylo made his way towards you. “General, I do hate to interrupt this endearing moment, but I don’t think we should keep the leader waiting any longer.” He said. Hux rolled his eyes. “Best behavior.” He snarled.

* * *

The journey was long. But, you couldn’t lie, the weight of securing a planet and also being with Kylo Ren made you very uncomfortable. When the trooper alerted you that you were near, you went to change into the proper Likhulian attire. Kylo’s ship landed first, he was greeted by their leader, Prime Minister Gorgoff. “Ah, Commander Kylo Ren, it is wonderful to finally meet your acquaintance.” He bowed. “And there is another one, no?” Your ship landed right before he could even respond. The ramp lowered and you walked out in a long flowy dress. Kylo couldn’t help his heart from racing any faster. ‘So beautiful.’ he thought. All those feelings he tried to suppressed the past months slowly started to creep back up. He watched as you made your way to the Prime Minister and engaged in conversation. His whole body and mind seemed to be fully concentrated on you. The subtle tint on your lips, the way the dress hung gently on your dainty shoulders, you were just magnificent. It reminded Kylo when he went to the ball. “When you’re ready, I would like to show you the palace.” The Prime Minister drew him out of his thoughts. He turned to see you looking, waiting for him; with a nod, you all followed.

* * *

This trip was going horribly wrong! Every day the Prime Minister added something new to the negotiation. It was getting frustrating. Since the beginning, he tried to deem the First Order and you incompetent. Today it was getting out of hand. He never said anything to the Commander, always kissing his ass. And Kylo just sat there with his knights and loved it, not to mention him just staring at you. Right now, you were in the middle of a heated discussion with the Prime Minister. “I just don’t understand why the General didn’t bring himself here to discuss. I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have been pushed back and handled by some newly promoted officer.” You clenched your fist, this was the third meeting that was about to end in complete failure and you didn’t want to call the General. “Prime Minister, you can’t undo what is written in the contract. Even the General would tell you that and I’m not a newly promoted officer, sir. I was always a-I don’t need to explain anything to you. If you keep this up, you will regret this.” The man laughed at you, causing your eyes to open wide. “Hmm, seems like this little game should only be played with the big boys, or should I say, men.” He turned his attention to the Commander. The audacity of this man! Some of his knights chuckled softly behind their mask. But Kylo, like most of the mission, just sat there quietly. You were completely fed up and needed to go before you jumped over the desk.

Without a word, you stood from your spot and made your way to the door. You chose to ignore his misogynistic comment and continued to walk down the hall. “I’ll go,” Kylo said to your group of troopers. Not too far behind, the Commander followed. You turned down various halls, trying to lose him. But, to no avail, he was still there. If him following you wasn’t another reason to be upset, the weight of the skirt of your dress in your hand was definitely frustrating. You made your way outside and continued walking to the far corner of the garden. There were some trees outlining a pathway and the further you went; you stopped when the path opened revealing a little pond. “WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?” You turned to the shadow behind you.

Kylo just stood there unaffected. “I wanted to see if you are okay. You left without notice.” He said monotonously. “No, I’m not okay! That’s the reason I left, I need air, I want to be alone!” “You’re angry,” Kylo said flatly. “I’m not angry, I’m upset. And I’m frustrated because he’s being a dick and your Knights are annoying.” You pressed the heel of your palms in your eyes. “And you don’t do anything but sit there and stare at me all the time.” You felt something grip your hands and pull them down. Looking at Kylo, you saw him removing his mask. Naturally, your body tensed up. Torn between love and hate. It didn’t help either how much you wished to see his face. Before he could take a step forward, you began yelling again. “You sit there as if none of this affects you as if you don’t even want this to happen. And you don’t even try to defend me or the Order. Do you even care?”

“Do I even care?” You watched as Kylo’s face twisted. “Of course I care. Why do you think I’ve been gone for so long. In order for the Order to succeed, I must be at my best and so must you. After everything, I knew how uncomfortable you would be around me.  And I won’t lie, that for the past few months the thought of you had pushed me to do so.” Your lips drew apart slightly. You didn’t want to hear him confess his feelings right now.  A hearty chuckle escaped his lips as his gloved hand brushed his hair back. “Do you know how hard it is to do something and not think about you? This whole time, I wanted to snap the Prime Minister’s neck the way he’s treated you. I even regret when I used to speak to you like that. I stayed silent because I knew my emotions take the best of me. And plus, I know you are strong enough to do this; you just have a lot on your mind. You need to relax. I wouldn’t have given you this position if I didn’t think you were capable.” Your fist was balled up and you were breathing heavy. All of this was too much for your brain. “Just-just leave me alone.” You said walking past him.


	3. Part 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Only Angel, (Ooh, ooh, ah-ah)

Kylo stood there after she had left. He had seen your mind. And it was a mess. Even with all the stress you were under before, didn’t jumble it. He knew it was his fault. It was almost like he had broken your mind and now he was just watching you slowly unfold. And the way you spoke to him, you would never raise your voice at your superior. He was sure, everything that he put you through had broke you. He needed-wanted to help you, in any way. While making his way back, he tried to come up with different ways to help you. He halted as he saw you standing on one of the balconies. He could feel the emotion pour off of you and hit him. It was frustration and confusion, all balled into one. “Y/N.” His baritone voice called out to you. You chose to keep looking out on the various hills of Likhula. He moved to stand next to you resting his helmet on the ledge. Kylo narrowed his eyes at your face. “Y/N, it’s okay to cry, it makes it better.” “I don’t want to.” You said shortly. He watched as your hands curled tighter on the ledge. “What about screaming?” He tilted his head. “I’m not just going to scream.” You shook your head at that absurd cliche gesture. Kylo gulped. “I can give you a reason to scream.”

You turned to look at him, only for his nose to brush your forehead lightly. You looked him in the eye. His fingers took a strand of your hair and tucked behind your ear. Once again, your body tensed, but couldn’t help the heat that pooled in your stomach. You watched intently as his nose traced yours, as his lips started to come close to yours. Surprisingly, he gently laid a soft, deep kiss to your lips. You couldn’t help but melt into his touch. You opened your mouth and tilted your head for more access. ‘You shouldn’t be doing this!’ you scolded yourself. But, you couldn’t lie. You missed those lips. You let out a moan as he sucked on your tongue. You remembered it was something Matt did that always amazed you because he was so awkward and inexperienced, but a great kisser.

Kylo wanted to do more than just kiss you. He pulled back and studied your features. Your eyes fluttered open, only to see Kylo’s sharp gaze on you. Embarrassment quickly took over. “Do you feel better?” He asked. “No.” you lied. “I thought you were going to make me scream.” Kylo clenched his jaw at your boldness. He could feel himself going hard. Picking up his helmet he made his way out into the hallway. “Follow me.” You did as he said and eventually, you ended up in his room. As soon as he closed the door, he latched his lips onto yours again. This time he didn’t hold back. The flare of his nostril hit your cheeks as his lips overpowered yours. Your lips started to feel numb as you struggled to keep up. You tried to take a step back, but Kylo immediately grabbed a hold of your belt and pulled you into him. Without even noticing, Kylo quickly undressed you. You didn’t realize until you were laying on the bed with your slip as your focus now fell on Kylo’s bulge. It seemed as if in one quick moment, he was in just his pants.

He crawled over to you on the bed. The sunlight shined through the window, making you glow even more. You squirmed, the way he stopped in his spot and watched you under the golden sun. Maybe this was your chance to stop whatever was about to happen, to think about everything that had happened before. But, everything he said, all you heard and saw was Matt. And that opened the floodgates. Kylo, on the other hand, felt a twinge of heartache. He thought back to that night when everything went wrong. “Y/N.” Gently, he placed a hand on your thigh, you moved forward exposing your white panties. “Shit,” Kylo whispered. He wanted to say something, but now this was the only thing in his mind. “You’re a virgin?” He asked in disbelief. You bit your lip, nodding. ‘And to think it was Hux’s idea for all the virgins to wear white, he’s going to be very disappointed when you return.’ Kylo thought. He gulped, snapping back to reality. “So am I.” He said shyly.

You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face. You placed his head in between your hands and began to tease his lips with your tongue. He parted his legs as his hands slid up underneath your slip, in your kneeling position. You continued to tease him, coming in close contact and then pulling back making him kiss the air. Fed up, Kylo’s fingertips grazed down your back to pull at the hem of your underwear. “Y/N.” He said lowly. You pulled back to see his eyes much darker and you couldn’t help but look at the scar. It really did a number on his face; you guess he wore makeup as Matt, but you wished it wasn’t there. You left little pecks down the scar and Kylo hummed as his arms wrapped around you in a tight embrace. You lowered yourself down onto his leg. Your brows furrowed as Kylo quickly devoured your lips in a kiss and you felt your damp center fall onto his thick thigh. This was all too much, but stars did you love it. Slowly, you moved your hips back and forth, the friction from his pants made you tingle. You squeezed your legs tighter, trying to press yourself down into him in even more. You wrapped your arms around his back, gripping tightly as you whimpered into the kiss. Kylo’s hand gripped your ass, pushing you harder. You threw your head back, laughing. He immediately nipped at your breast. It was so euphoric, the sunlight, the birds chirping, all the colors that decorated the room, and the man you liked so much, Matt.

But he wasn’t and it made you mad. Your nails dug into his back, earning a hiss. He looked up to see a pair of beautiful yet angry eyes. “It’s ok, let it out. Let out all your anger on me.” Was all he said before you attacked his neck. Your hips had found a steady rhythm and your juices began to seep through his pants. Sloppy kisses that you scattered on his neck and chest turned into bites. The masochist in Kylo loved it every time you bit down a little too hard making him wince. A rapid knock on the door caused you and Kylo to growl in annoyance. “What?!” He yelled. “Master, the Prime Minister requested the Ambassador’s presence, but she is nowhere to be found.” The voice yelled out from behind the door. Your nails dug deeper in annoyance, you didn’t wish to see this man nor speak to him. Kylo arched his back at the pain and thanked his makers that none of his Knights were Force-sensitive. “Did you check the garden?” “Yes, and she isn’t there.” You started to speed up your movements out of frustration and also feeling close. Kylo’s mind began to get hazy. His knight continued to talk, but all he could focus on was the wild look in your eyes. “Fine, I’ll look for her. LEAVE!” He roared. Kylo wanted nothing more than to slam you down and fill you to the core and watch you scream for more. Just then, he felt your movements become jerky and tighten your grip on him. You felt the release and sunk your teeth deeply into his skin.

Kylo let out a sharp, shaky breath. He looked down over his shoulder and saw the swollen bite mark and a sliver of blood sneaking out. Kylo eyes now fell upon your exhausted face. His thumbed wiped the mix of blood and saliva from the corner of your swollen lips. “Better?” He asked. You shook your head. “You need to get cleaned up, so I can ‘find you’.” You tilted your head in confusion. “They’re looking for you.” You glanced at the door, forgetting about that whole interrupting conversation. “You can stay in here and get cleaned up.” You slowly removed yourself from Kylo’s hold. You felt the uncomfortable feeling of pulling apart from the stickiness that held you and Kylo together. You dragged yourself to the refresher and Kylo watched as the sun followed you like a spotlight. You were truly angelic.


	4. Part 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you can do, I WILL DO IT 10X BETTER AND WATCH YOU SUFFER!!

Kylo “looked” for you. “Did you find her, Commander?” The Prime Minister rung out from the bottom of the staircase. Descending it, he replied, “No, I would hope the tour you gave us was sufficient because I checked everywhere and she was nowhere to be found.” The two men continued to engage in conversation about your whereabouts before you interrupted them. Clearing your throat, they looked up at you. Gliding your hand down the staircase, you made your way to them. “Gentlemen.” You gave them a curt nod. “Ambassador, where did you run off to? We’ve been looking for you for about an hour!” The Prime Minister concerned voiced laced with fallacy. Sauntering closer to him, so that you were now face to face, you said. “Now Prime Minister, you know it’s rude to ask a lady what she does in her privacy.” you arched your eyebrow and his lips parted slightly. You watched as his lips went dry. Kylo didn’t like the look that you were giving. You were only supposed to give that look to him and him only. He clenched his fist. “Don’t you have something to ask her?” Kylo’s mechanical voice boomed loudly in the Prime Minister’s ear making him jump. “Oh and I contacted the General and he’s sending over a new written contract that will definitely please us both.” You said first. Kylo was shocked. Why did you call the General and give in so quickly? And when did you have the time to do all of this. Timing wise you got yourself cleaned up very quickly, not to mention he was the one that handed you your dress in the refresher and he wouldn’t hand it to you until his lips were on yours once again. “Oh, well. I guess, would you like to join me for dinner?” He asked with his arm held out. “I won’t lie, I’m feeling very hungry after all that has happened today.” You linked arms and threw a glance over your shoulder at Kylo.

* * *

Dinner continued with a shamelessly drunk Prime Minister making passes at you, to which you countered, gaining laughs from some of the Knights, as well as the troopers. Kylo didn’t find this funny at all. His hand hovered above his lightsaber. If the Prime Minister even dared to reach out and touch you, Kylo wouldn’t hesitate. He also didn’t understand why you were allowing this; at the ball, you were literally trying to hide from all those eyes on you and now you’re letting a man explicitly flirt with you. Kylo just knew this had to be his fault. “Well, Prime Minister, I think it’s time for you to go to bed.” You quipped standing up. “Alone?” He drunkenly slurred. “Very much.” You chuckled. Kylo jumped up “I’ll escort you to your quarters.” “Oh, Commander thank you.” The Prime Minister blushed. “Not you.” Kylo pointed as he laid a hand on your back gently pushing you out.

Your troopers were in front of you and his knights behind, while you two walked side by side. A small smile fell across your lips as you hummed. He turned his helmet to look down at you. You glanced up at him and then back to focus on where you were going. Underneath the mask, he furrowed his eyebrows. He looked forward and noticed you were approaching your room. “Inspect the room.” He ordered the troopers. “Wait for me at the entrance of the hallway to my room.” He told the Knights. When he was positive that the two of you were alone, he reached for his mask. “What do you think you’re doing?” He asked quietly. “What do you mean?” Innocence laced in your voice. “Y/N.” He said sternly. “I’ve done nothing that the General wouldn’t approve of.” You replied. “Well, except, of course, you.” Biting your lip to suppress the smile as Kylo’s blush spread all the way to his ears. “Y/N you still didn’t answer me.” You closed the gap between you two and kissed his jaw gently. “Don’t worry, everything is going to work out.” The troopers opened the door. “The room is all clear for the Ambassador, sir.” “Thank you,” you said before slipping inside. “Good night, Ambassador.” Turning to face Kylo, you were startled to see his mask on. “Good night, Commander.”

* * *

The next day, the Prime Minister and Kylo waited for you to join them. You were never late and Kylo began to worry. But soon enough, you bust through the doors with your troopers. The train of your dress bellowed as you briskly made your way to the Prime Minister’s desk. Dropping the contract on his desk. You pointed to the first page “If you notice here, the First Order will allow you to export your goods to be manufactured without tax, on the next page you and your government will be able to acquire First Order weaponry and squadrons and still hold shares of those beneficiaries gained from your Resistance-sympathizing sister planet, Teiliethar. You’ll remain protected by the First Order and your people will be able to volunteer for our many work programs, as well as the Academy. And we will allow you to continue having a large percentage of the say in Likhula. Satisfied?” You tilted your head as he continued to search through the pages. Silence hung in the air, waiting for a response from this man. “Indeed.” He signed the line. “I guess you are ready to play with the big boys.” He shot you a seductive smile, signing then handing you the contract. Giving a nod, the trooper on the right retrieved the contract and made his way to the ship.

“Actually, I find it quite boring. It’s all too easy. All you have to do is tell a man what he wants to hear and then you get what you want.” You shrugged. Both men looked at you. “I literally just told you everything you wanted to hear and you easily signed your rights away. Do you really think we would allow you to export your goods to be manufactured to then be imported with the finished product to be sold galaxy wide without tax?” You scoffed. “And do you really think we’d grant you access to such First Order privileges, while your sister planet sides with the Resistance? There will be squadrons patrolling the streets and airway, to keep out any and all contact with anything Teilietharian! You should be thanking that I at least gave your people a choice between life and death.” You shook your head. You didn’t have to read minds to know that his whole world was crumbling. He sat small on his highly ornate gold chair. “That’s not fair.” He whispered. “That’s not fair! You can’t do that! She can’t do that! The General would never allow it.” “Actually, he did. He pitied you and that’s why you still have a large percentage of what goes on around here.” You responded. The anger boiled within him. “Exactly! So you must leave!” He jumped from his seat. “I said large, not largest. You hold 33% of the 48% of the rest of the government and we have the full 52%.”

“You lying bitch! The General would never allow you! I will speak of your acts.” He yelled. “Liar? No. Bitch? Possibly. And the General has no control over me outside of the base or ships. If you want, you can speak to the Commander. ” You and the Prime Minister faced him. “I’m under his rule now.” The thick seduction carried from your lips to Kylo’s ears. “She was chosen for this position for a reason Prime Minister. Don’t be mad that you let her pull a fast one on you because you deemed her incompetent because of her age and gender. Now, If I may, it was a pleasure doing business. We must depart.” The Prime Minister sat there in shock as you and Kylo left the room. Making your way to your separate ships, Kylo watched intently, as you entered yours first making sure you were in before entering his shuttle.

* * *

You changed out of the stupid dress you had to wear on that stupid planet. You chuckled at the thought of the Prime Minister, served him right to try and disregard you because you weren’t a man with nearly as much experience as he thought you should have. A knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts. The door slid open revealing a trooper. “Ambassador L/N, the Commander is on the comm system and would like to speak to you.” “Very well.” You huffed as he leads the way. You entered the room to see it was just you and him. You stood with your hands behind your back waiting for him to speak. “Well done, Ambassador,” he said. “Thank you, Commander.” you nodded. “Y/N, please call me Kylo.” Your brows furrowed. Kylo took off his mask. “After all that we’ve been through, Y/N call me Kylo.” You looked down and knew it was a mistake. “Don’t think that.” Your eyes focused back to him. “I-I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m so confused. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I don’t know what made me act in such way.” You looked down at your hands embarrassed. Truly you didn’t know what took over you. Maybe, it was because you genuinely missed and liked Matt. “Y/N, I know you aren’t as innocent as everyone thinks you are. You haven’t stopped thinking about me, just like I haven’t about you.” “No! I can’t stop thinking about Matt! You hurt me!” You yelled. Kylo clenched his jaw. “Y/N, I’m not coming back onto that ship until you’re mine.” He said deeply causing goose bumps to appear. “Well, I guess until next time Commander.” You stood up straight. “I won’t stop until you’re mine, Y/N.”


	5. Part 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its mommy knows best, not HUX know’s best.

As soon as you returned to the Finalizer, all you wanted to do was go to bed. Strangely, you missed the mundane environment that the First Order provided. You were glad that the General was giving you until the next day to fill him in. You trudged your way back to your quarters. When you turned down the hall, you were surprised to see a young cadet waiting for you. “Hello Ambassador L/N, I hope your mission was successful.” He nodded. “Yes, it was thank you.” You peered at the young man, to see a crate. “And what is that?” you asked. “Oh, it’s a delivery for you.” The young man picked it up. “Um, do you know who it’s from?” You asked warily. “No ma’am but it’s been tested and cleared.” Putting in your code, the doors slid open. “Okay, I guess you can just leave it on the counter.” He did as you said and then left. Tentatively, you opened the crate to see a whole bunch of shredded paper. Removing all of it, you saw a bottle of Champagne and a supply box of Galaxy Buns. You pulled out the note that had floated to the bottom. You noticed the handwriting immediately. You still kept his note tucked in one of your dresser drawers. Opening the note, it read: Remember the good, forget the bad. “Why me?” You whined as you made your way to bed.

* * *

At 06:00, you, the General, and the Captain had breakfast. “So, how was the mission?” Phasma asked adding sugar to her coffee. “It was long and tiring. But Likhula is so beautiful, you guys have to visit it.” You said reaching for your fork. Hux appeared with his great coat. “And the Prime Minister didn’t give you a hard time?” He asked fixing his tea. Sitting back, you thought of the hell he put you through. “No, it was fine. Just him wanting to negotiate and stall a lot. But, I think I handled it pretty well.” You lied. “And Ren?” Phasma asked taking a sip. A clunk of utensils caught your attention. Looking over to the General, you saw his jaw clench. “Um, he was okay. Slightly useless.” “Always useless,” Hux interjected. You laughed. Biting your lip, thinking about your heated interaction with the Commander.

“I know that he refuses to return to the Finalizer without your permission. I hope you never forgive him.” Hux said stirring the contents in his tea. “Never forgive him, I quite like running this ship without having to deal with his childish nature.” Phasma looked at you reading the expression on your face. Phasma possibly could read you like a book. “Mother’s intuition” is what she called it as everyone liked to joke about how she was the mother of all troopers. “Well, it’s not your decision, Hux.” She piped up. “I know that. But, any FOOL would KNOW not to forgive that horrible manchild. And SHE is certainly no fool.” Hux pointed at you. “I never said that she was a fool, I’m just saying, if she does want to forgive him then she will. And if she doesn’t, well at least it is her decision.” She said. “I know you never said she was a fool, I’m just saying: ANY FOOL WOULD KNOW BETTER!” Hux clenched his hands into a fist. “Ok, so I don’t think you should keep calling her a fool Hux.” “But, I’m not!” “So stop saying it.” Hux rolled his eyes and mumbled something. Phasma shot him a look. You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. It was funny to see them bicker and Hux only let Phasma talk to him like that. Hux stood from the table, discarding his cup. Phasma reached out for your hand “Angel.” She said in her softest voice. Recently getting more familiar with the Captain because of Lucky, she had become very fond of using your popular nickname. “Whatever you choose, we will respect your decision,” Hux mumbled something before exiting the room.

Phasma turned around to make sure the coast was clear. “Angel, I hope you know that you can trust me. The General and I sincerely care about your well-being.” You shook your head. “I know you and the Commander did share some type of ‘relationship’ when he was ‘Matt’.” You looked down, the mention of that name causing your heart to ache. “So I won’t be surprised if you two still harness some feelings for each other.” You bit your lip. “Phasma, do you think all of this is silly?” You asked. “To be quite serious, yes.” You deflated in your seat. “But, both of you are naive and innocent to these feelings. In due time you’ll be able to brush it off. But, I know Ren and he gets himself in way too deep, way too fast. And he won’t stop.” You rolled your eyes.

“He sent me a package.” You said lowly. “What was in it?” Phasma grew worried. “It was a bottle of Champagne and a box of Galaxy Buns.” She furrowed her brows. “It’s a, one night, we ate that to celebrate my promotion.” You waved off. “It’s fine, nothing honestly. I think I’ll only have to worry about when we go on missions.” Phasma leaned closer. “Has he tried anything?” Concern filling her voice. You knew you couldn’t lie to Phasma, no matter if you tried, she would always find out the truth. “Oh Phasma, I don’t know what happened!” Hiding your embarrassed face in your hands, you heard her let out a disappointing sigh. “Don’t be mad.” You mumbled. “What?” “I said don’t be mad.” You peeked through the cracks of your fingers. “I won’t.”

You managed to get your whole story out in one breath, surprisingly, as you watched the different expressions change on Phasma’s face. The last face was horror, definitely horror. “Angel.” She said. “But, he wouldn’t help and he wouldn’t stop staring and he was useless, up until then!” You tried justifying your answer. Phasma just shook her head and chuckled. “You two are like hormonal teenagers. After all the craziness, the sexual tension gave in.” You gave her response a quizzical look. “Oh my stars, you are so young. If Hux and I weren’t even in that meeting, he would’ve jumped on you then and there. He was staring at you the whole time. Ren never sits on a diagonal with his legs crossed.” How were you supposed to know this! “And you!” ‘Me?’ you asked yourself. “It was all in your body language.” She waved her hand. “I could see you thinking the whole time before he came for the meeting. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him when he strode in. And you took the extra effort to make sure you didn’t give him any attention.”

You sat back and fiddled with your fingers. “Was I that obvious?” Phasma crossed her arms and nodded. “Do you think Hux noticed?” “Makers No! Unlike you two, he was the only one actually concerned with the real business at hand.” You let out a whine. “It was stupid and he wants to be with me. But, I don’t want to be with him. I don’t think I should be with anyone after all of this.” Phasma rolled her eyes. “Listen, you can throw yourself a pity party all you want, but there’s nothing wrong with using someone’s body to blow a little steam. I do it, Hux does it.” Your eyes widened. You definitely didn’t want to hear about Hux and his sexual escapades. “Why do you think we don’t go around breaking the ship? But just be careful if you decided to do this. Seeing as you regret doing it with Ren, it makes perfect sense: you were upset, he was annoying you, you had a fake real relationship with him, and he offered; now it seems like he’s holding it over your head. So before your next mission with him, you might want to figure out what you want and talk to him. Just then, Hux marched himself back in. “What are you two talking about?” “Women problems,” Phasma said flatly. “Forget I even asked.” His eyes widened as he backed out. “Thank you.” You squeezed her hand. “No problem, and I’ll also talk to the problematic walking shadow of yours.”

 


	6. Part 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little competition never hurt…

“Hello, Commander.” You nodded. He removed his mask with a smile. “Y/N, how are you? I’ve heard you’ve been speaking of me.” He smirked. “Commander, I’ve been speaking to Captain Phasma about what had happened.” You clasped your hands in front of your body. “Commander, as I said before, what happened before, I truly apologize. My actions weren’t fully thought and I acted with-” “With your heart.” Kylo interrupted. Your eye twitched. You knew this wasn’t going to be easy. “Commander, from this point forward, I would like us to conduct a strictly professional relationship. Yes, I know that line has been crossed numerous times. But still, as a superior, you should have certain control of your feelings regardless.” You watched as his eyes grew darker and a scowl formed on his face. “You’re lying. You’re only saying this to make you think you’re above all of this. Y/N, honestly give up the act, you want to be with me you can’t deny it.” You rolled your eyes. “And a professional relationship, an Ambassador, and Commander sounds very dignified.” “Good-bye Commander.” You quickly shut off the link and exited.  

You thank the makers that it would be a month before you saw him again. It gave you some time to get you and your thoughts together. And hopefully, it wouldn’t be such a long trip like last time. You were just going to an allying planet to renew a contract and pick up some resources. You walked off the ship, dress in hand. You loved your new position, but you hated the clothes. On the ship, you could wear whatever you pleased, as long as it fit First Order regulations. When visiting other planets, however, it would be more respectful and appease if you wore their garb. Fussing with the dress, you made your way to the palace steps.

* * *

“Welcome to Fallania, Ambassador L/N.” The King said with arms wide. You smiled, bowing. “Thank you, your highness.” He smiled. “My, aren’t you a sight. A beautiful and intelligent young lady, we are very honored to have you here.” You tried to contain your blush. “Well, thank you, your highness.” Before you could speak, someone else interrupted. “Father! Father!” followed by a boisterous laugh. The young man walked outside with a pep in his step with a wide smile. “Oh, father.” He stopped in front of you. “I didn’t know we had company. Hello, I’m Michael.” He took your hand and gently kissed your knuckles. “Prince Michael of Fallania, soon to be king, that enjoys not remembering his duties.” The King piped in. Michael scratched the back of his neck. “Thank you, Father, you sure know how to help me out.” A small smile graced your lips as his eyes landed back on you. He was almost as tall as the General, a nice athletic build, a rich Fallanian accent, with golden blonde hair and hazel eyes. You seemed to be lost in a daze as Fallania’s sun spotlighted him. “Well you know, boys will be boys.” The King chuckled and you joined in. Just then, the Commander’s shuttle landed and the ramp lowered revealing the man himself and his many knights. He stalked over to the stairs, where all three of you stood. “Ah, Commander Ren, it’s nice to see you again.” Kylo bowed “Your Highness.” “Commander Ren, so happy you can join us,” Michael said cheerily. Kylo’s mask showed nothing but his reflection as he retorted. “I see you’re finally joining us too.” Kylo stood next to you and you could feel his annoyance radiating off of him. “Hello, Commander.” Your soft voice carried and he turned to purposely look you down. Michael watched this with a quizzical look. As the awkward silent staredown approached its third minute, Michael coughed gaining everyone’s attention. “Sorry, just something in my throat. Perhaps, we can all head for dinner.” He held his hand to make sure he guided you.

* * *

The first day spent at Fallania was nothing but pure bliss. The planet was beautiful, the people were so nice. The King renewed the contract right after breakfast, leaving you to be shown around the palace and the walls by Michael. Michael was so handsome and charismatic and very funny. There was not a time when you weren’t smiling. At one point you couldn’t help but dream of a life where you didn’t have to return to the First Order and stay here for the rest of your life. But, of course, you couldn’t do that to Hux. But then again, Hux did say you deserved a Prince. Right now, you were sitting on one of the low stone fences under the shade of a large tree; you watched Michael practice his swordsmanship skills with one of his men.

His golden locks were matted from the sweat on his forehead and cheeks and lips were now a bruised pink. You couldn’t help but think how enticing they looked. Allowing your eyes to drop lower, you followed the softly curled pattern of golden chest hairs that filtered down his navel. Body glistening under the sun, you watched the muscles contracting when he tied his shirt around his waist. Makers, you could stay here forever. “How about you fight someone who isn’t paid to let you win?” Tension started to rise in your shoulders as the mechanical, clad in leather, strode into the courtyard with his “gang”. Michael raised up his arms “Ah, of course. Who wouldn’t like a chance to beat THE mighty Kylo Ren.” “Excuse me, I don’t think this is a very good idea.” You intervened. “Well, why don’t we fight in your honor.” Michael sent you a smile and a wink. Kylo turned to see your blushing form. “Eh, sir, I’m not skilled in such a powerful weapon.” Michael playfully bowed as his friends laughed. “Hopefully an electro-sword will do fine.” Kylo extended his hand, using the force to retrieve the sword from one of the other man’s hand. He swung it around a few times before nodding.

The two men fought as if it was for the death. Your eyes were only on Michael as he dodged Kylo’s malicious attacks. ‘Please don’t hurt him. Please don’t hurt him.’ Your mind begged as Kylo’s advances became bigger. The sharp sound of both weapons clashing with each other rang throughout the courtyard. Both men strained to push each other of him. Michael scrunched up his face and started to turn red. Kylo started to probe his mind with the force. “Ah!” Michael let out an excruciating yell as he fell back. “MATT!” You jumped off the fence and ran to his sigh. “Matt, Matt! Are you okay?” He lifted his wrist exposing it’s swollen form. “I told you this was a horrible idea. Look what you did! You have no control whatsoever!” You turned up to grill Kylo. His shoulders were heaving as he stared down at you, just like at the steps. You weren’t backing down as you narrowed. “Come on, Sir.” One of Michael’s men helped him and escorted him back to the palace and you followed him. When you walked passed Kylo you felt a tug on your arm, sending him a scowl, he released you.

* * *

“Oh, Ambassador you didn’t have to escort him back.” The King spoke. “Oh, it’s no problem. And I do apologize for the Commander’s action.” You tried to hide your apparent anger. “I was against this, but they didn’t listen.” The King laid a hand on your shoulder. “Oh Ambassador, even they only appear to be men, they still act like boys.” You let out a huff. “I know, but, I can’t help but feel responsible.” The King’s hand fell to in between your shoulder blades and pushed you towards the room Michael was in. “You remind me of Michael’s mother, the late Queen Valeria. Gracious, beautiful, wise, lawful; I wish she was still here to see how much he’s grown.” “I’m sorry to hear that.” His hand dropped and he let out a sigh. “She died when he was eight and I’ve tried my best to raise him, but I think I have failed her.” You shook your head. “No, you’ve done a wonderful job, your highness. The Prince is an amazing person. He’s so kind and charismatic, and one day he’d make a wonderful king, just like you.” You held onto the King’s arm. “Moving onto my old man already?” A hearty chuckle echoed through the room. Michael’s boots clicked across the palace’s marble floor. “Are you okay?” You turned to face him. He moved closer to show you his bandaged wrist. “I’m really sorry about this.” You whispered. “It’s fine.” He shrugged. “I guess I was the true victor after all.” His breath fanned across your cheek with the close proximity. You looked down to hide your smile as Michael smiled. “I was just telling the Ambassador about your mother.” The King spoke up. Michael looked at his father “She reminds me so much of her.” And then at you; he stared at you as if you were the most precious jewel in the galaxy. “Would you-would you fancy a walk?” A deep blush crept onto his cheeks. “Yeah, I would like too.” You smiled. The two of you began to walk. “Please, Michael, be respectful.” The King interjected. “I will Father. I’m trying to court the possible future Queen of Fallania.” He smiled and you bit your lip to hold back your wide smile.

* * *

Towards the end of your walk, it started to get dark. Dinner would be soon, so Michael thought it would be best to relax near the Blossom Tree near the palace’s entrance nearest the dining room. Right now, Michael was laughing at the joke you told. “A stormtrooper?!” He laughed lurching forward. “I thought they all were serious clones, where did you find one like that?” He asked. You shrugged. “I don’t know. They don’t use clones anymore. They’re all pretty funny. Most of my friends are troopers.” You picked a flower off the tree and twirled it. Michael pulled the petals from the blossom on the tree. “And what is a girl like you hanging with ‘troopers’?” He mocked you nicely. You shrugged again and rolled your eyes sweetly. A soft brush against your cheek sent you staring into his hazel eyes. “I’d be your friend.” He continued to trace your cheek with the pink petal. He guided it down to your lip. “Even though I’d have to admit, I’d rather be more than just your friend.” He leaned closer to you and your breath hitched. Licking his lips, Michael whispered. “Somebody’s watching us.”

Both of you turned to look up at the balcony, where the Commander stood there watching you. You couldn’t help but be locked in his gaze. “Hello, Commander.” Michael waved with a grand smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect her.” He snuggly wrapped his arm around your waist. “Oh and don’t worry about the wrist. Just a sprain.” He gave a little wave. Only then did the mask turn to face the Prince before leaving. “Makers, he’s a creep.”Michael huffed out. “How do you even stand that man?” You looked down. “He’s not that bad. He comes off abrasive, but he’s-” “Do you like him?” Michael chirped. Your eyes widened and your heart pulsed faster. “What?!” “I think he likes you.” Michael smirk and you furrowed your brows. “The way he looks at you, silently stalking you. I heard he has those mind powers.” He wiggled his fingers. “What if he is using that to make you think that.” He rips a branch from the tree. “You will like me, Y/N.” Michael mocks the mechanical vocoder as he pointed the branch at you. “Have you seen his lightsaber?” Michael asked swinging the branch around. Before you could answer he swung at you knocking the flower out your hand and grabbing you by your waist. Your chest moved in sync with his as you could hear the blood rush to your ears. His pink lips were so close to yours, just an inch closer. “I think we should get ready for dinner.” He leads you towards the palace doors.

* * *

Dinner was slightly uncomfortable. Granted it was just, you, the King, and the Prince which was a delight; Michael couldn’t seem to stop talking about Kylo Ren. In all honesty, you didn’t need to defend him, but you felt obligated to for the cause. After excusing yourself from dinner, Michael decided to walk you to your room. “Do you always have such heavy security?” Michael whispered. The breath hitting your ear tickled. “Only when necessary. I like it. I like feeling protected.” “You don’t think I can protect you.” Michael put his hand on his chest, being playfully hurt. You approached your door and two of the troopers examined your room. “They do this all the time too?” He asked and you nodded. “Well, thank stars I didn’t decide to seduce you tonight.” He pulled you into his chest with his arm. You chuckled swatting him. “Are you sure you don’t want to join me for a drink?” He pouted. Shaking loose from his arm, you shook your head. “No, after today, I think I need my rest.” He shot you a soft smile “Alright then, sweet dreams Ambassador L/N.” He gently kissed your hand. “And to you too, Prince Michael.” You smiled before closing the door.

* * *

While preparing for bed, you began to hear voices. His voice. Kylo beckoned for you to meet him in his room. “No!” You growled for the fifteenth time. Kylo warned you he would do this all night. “Fine, then meet me in the hallway.” You grumbled. You threw on your robe, “I’ll be back.” You told the troopers and trudged down the various hallways. Kylo’s back faced you at the end of one of the hallways. “What do you want?” You spat. He turned around. “That’s no way to speak to your superior.” Pointing your finger you moved closer. “I swear all you do is try to make me miserable and fail.” “On the contrary, my dear.” “And you hurt the Prince! They are our alliance, the King could’ve easily backed out after that stunt you pulled. And without Fallania, we wouldn’t have the funding to complete the base!” Your finger sharply pointed into his armor. “Oh Y/N, after that stunt YOU pulled.” He laughed gently wrapping his gloved fingers around your wrist. “I never pegged you to be into blonds. You think I didn’t hear you call out Matt earlier today?” Your mouth went dry and fell agape. “Oh Y/N, why do you keep this up? You’re only hurting yourself.” He wrapped his other around your waist pulling you to him. You gulped, shimming only to bring yourself closer to him. “You can try to use the Prince to live out what we have or you can have the real thing.” His vocoder was dangerously close to your lips and every time he spoke you felt the vibration drip from your lips and pool in your lower abdomen. Kylo let you go and turned to leave you staring blankly at him as he walked back to his room. “But, you’d rather keep it professional.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: I've been writing this story since before TLJ, so it will not be following the TLJ timeline.


	7. Part 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: sexual assault

You returned and thankfully sleep welcomed you easily. In the middle of the night you felt something heavy against your body, then soft wet lips make its way across your face and unto your lips. Drowsily, you opened your mouth for more and the owner of those lips were more than happy to comply. You lazily moaned into the kiss. Dragging your hands to rest above your head, the other gloved hand worked to undo the buttons of your nightgown. Freeing your right breast, the leather hand groped at your breast before twisting your nipple. You let out a sharp breath and arched your back, only to feel his hard member rest on your thigh. “Kylo.” you lazily moaned. The lips ceased all movement. “Kylo?” Your eyes fluttered open to the sound of the Fallanian accent. “Mi-Michael?” You stuttered out embarrassed.

“I knew it.” Michael’s hazel eyes bore into your (y/e/c) eyes. “I didn’t believe it at first. I thought it was all him, I mean you’re a very attractive girl. But you, I couldn’t imagine someone like you fucking your superior. But, it all makes sense the way you talk to him, defend him. And you even denied ME to return to your quarters, only to visit him!” His eyes seemed to grow darker under the moonlight. “Was seducing me under your plan to keep Fallania under the First Order?” You shook your head profusely and you tried to move out his hold. “I liked you.” Michael’s tone grew angry as he tightened his grip and dropped his weight on you. He traced a line from your lips down to your center, pushing up the nightgown. “No, no, no.” You wiggled. About to let out a scream, he grabbed your jaw. “Don’t even think about it. I’ll have my men hold you down.”  He lied, but you didn’t know and your eyes bugged in terror. His lips attached to your neck and dragged his gloved fingers down to your wet center. “Look at you already wet for him. That’s no fair, I’m the one doing all the work.” Michael’s teeth nipped at your skin and you let out a yelp. “I bet you dream about him.” He dragged a finger down between your clothed lips. “I bet you touch yourself to thought of him. Curling fingers inside of you, pretending it’s him, relishing in the thought of your cum covering his gloved fingers.” As he massaged your labia. You held back an involuntary moan as you looked up at your hands that he held down. You realized that his other hand was his sprained wrist. You clenched your thighs tightly inflicting pain. He only winced and didn’t retract his hand. “Ah, you can’t help but want more.” His devilish smiled burned into your skin. “This just makes me wonder are you his whore or is he your pet!” Michael spat and before you knew it, he was thrown off the bed, hitting his head. You shot up to see a maskless Kylo Ren, shoulders and chest heaving. Haphazardly you buttoned your nightgown and removed yourself from the bed. You inched yourself towards Kylo as you stayed as close to the bed as possible making sure Michael didn’t move. Kylo watched your shaking form move towards him; he held out a hand for you. Michael stirred and let out a groan, only for your legs to give out in fear. In one fluid movement, he caught you and scooped you up.

Embarrassed and frightened, you hid your face in his chest. Sniffling, you catch the smell of the one you missed so much. This was all so terrible, maybe you should just give into your feelings. And Kylo really did try to do better, even if it was on his own terms. Kylo stalked onto his Command shuttle and the hair on the back of your neck stood up. Turning your head away, you watched as he briskly walked past the cell he threw you in no earlier than four months ago. The blast doors opened revealing a small, yet comfortably cot. He lowered you onto as you slowly unlatched your hold from him. “Stay here, I’ll be back.” Outside, you could hear him instruct his Knights and your troopers before leaving.

* * *

When Kylo returned he was fuming from his discussion with the King. He went to check on you and with the late hour, he thought you would be asleep. He paused in front of the bunk door, he definitely told one of his Knights to keep watch at the door. He entered, only to see the Knight standing there. “Sorry Master. She didn’t want to be alone.” He bowed before leaving you two. He removed his mask. “Why are you still up?” Kylo eyes landed on your drained form. The tears stained your cheeks as you clutched your knees into your chest. “Y/N?” Kylo hesitantly moved towards you. Your eyes shifted to him and he froze in his spot. Kylo went to sit on the cot, but not too close. “Are you … okay?” He gulped. It was a dumb question to ask. Of course, you weren’t okay! When you didn’t answer, he looked down. “Thank you.” Your soft strained voice pulled him from his thoughts. Kylo shook his head. “You shouldn’t be thanking me. I didn’t do enough.” You furrowed your brows in confusion. “I went to confront the King about his son and he disregarded it and laughed. He claimed ‘boys will be boys’ and blamed his treatment of women on his deceased mother, may the galaxy rest her soul. That was no excuse to do what he did to you.” His voice grew deeper. Your lips trembled as you thought ‘Fallania is going to leave the First Order.’ “You don’t have to worry about that, you should be sleeping.” “I can’t.” You closed your eyes tightly. “Just lay down, I’ll … I’ll just use the force to-” Kylo tried to explain to you as you laid down. He extended his hand, only for you to roughly grab his hand pull him down alongside you. “Woah.” Kylo collapsed on the cot, almost squishing you, as he watched the tears form in your eyes.

He wasn’t expecting you to break down and wrap yourself around him. Your arms pulled at the black fabric as your tears stained his cowl. Kylo placed his hands awkwardly on your waist and started rubbing circles on your lower back, making sure that none of you would fall. His mind flashed back to the time he had held you in his office. He breathed a sigh on the top of your head. “I’m sorry!” You cried out. “I’m so sorry!” You squeezed him tighter as your mind scrambled. “You don’t have to talk about it, Y/N,” Kylo whispered. “No, I-I.” You tried to hold back the sob that racked through your body. You shook your head again. “No, no, no.” You clutched onto his forearms, digging your nails into the fabric wrapping around his arms. Biting his lip, he stopped fighting the urge to look inside your mind:

> He saw you in your pre-pubescent form. Your face was chubbier, with random strands of curls that didn’t make it into your bun, framing your face and limbs spread across the floor as you cleaned the hardwood floors. You turned your head when the bell on the top of the door rung out, signalling someone had enter. Craning your head back, from what you can see, were three very large men. And their voices were so deep, you swore you could feel the ground shake. One of the men eyes shifted and fell on you. Quickly, you went back to back to cleaning. After a few minutes of back and forth with, Missy, the receptionist, she called out for you. Getting up, you nervously fixed your dress, before making your way over. “Y/N, can you be a sweetheart and to Madame V for me please.” She smiled with eyes shifting in panic. Nodding, the men began to follow you; as you walked down the long wood-floored hallway down to Madame V’s office, one man followed very closely. Basically, stepping on the back of your boots. Knocking five times, she answered. With one glance down, you went to take a step away before the man put a tight grip on your shoulder. “What are you doing?” Madame V let out a breath. “We want the girl for the hour.” He said flatly. “Okay fine, I’ll let you pick from my girls. But, she’s not one of them. She’s just the help, so let her go. ” Madame V crossed her arms. He let you go, only for him to catch your arm as you went to run away. “If she’s just the help, I see why not? She’s probably the cheapest thing in her?” His shaded eyes examined the gaudy interior, while the other men laughed. Madame V unfolded her arms and pulled at you. “I said she’s not one of them.” She gritted her teeth, tugging you. One of the men pushed her hard, making her tumble backwards. You tried to wiggle and scratch out of his grip. “A feisty fighter, I like this one.” He licked his lip, lifting you over his shoulder. Before you could think, you screamed “MOMMY!” The men froze turning to the lady that was ready to attack. “The Madame is raising her daughter in the whorehouse?” He scrunched his face. Madame V’s chest rose up and down enraged as both were at a stand still. “Even better!” Before he could take a step Madame V stopped the men. “No, leave her. Take me instead.” The men seemed to look at each other to ponder over the thought. Throwing the child to one of the many girls that had congregated in the main hallway. The man that once held you shoved her inside, while the other two followed behind concealing the two that entered before them. Before the door closed, you saw your her teary eyes glance at you. “NO! No, no, no, NO!” You struggled against the girls that were pulling you away from the scene. “Please Y/N.” They begged as they pulled you up the stairs. “She’s doing this to protect you. She loves you.”

When Kylo snapped back his eyes had become watery and with one blink a tear rolled down his eye. Why would someone want to do that to a child? Why would someone want to purposely hurt you? You didn’t deserve that or this, or anything. “I’m so helpless.” You cried out. “I’m so helpless. I couldn’t help myself from Michael, I couldn’t help my mother.” You shook your head as more tears stained your face. “I’m useless and I can’t help the First Order, and Hux is going to terminate me.” You dragged out the E, only to cough through your tears. With a sudden urge, Kylo tightly pulled you into his chest. “No, no, no. Don’t say that. Don’t say that, please Y/N. Please don’t say that.” He squeezed you tight, nuzzling his nose into your hair before he continued. “Y/N, no; without you, the First Order would be next to nothing. I would be nothing. Y/N you’ve helped me, you’ve changed me. For the better. You’ve changed the whole Order. Once you started working there, you bought youth and life. And I hated it, only because I didn’t get a chance to experience.” Kylo admitted his feelings, for the third time out loud to you. But, this time you actually listened. And he knew this. “We still have two days remaining on this mission. You don’t have to go back home right now.” His hands ran through your hair and you lifted your eyes to meet his. “You can stay with me. I mean the Knights of Ren.” His eyes shifted down to the sliver space that appeared between your two embracing bodies. “It’s a small moon where we go to train. If you want, I can take you there for the remainder of the days. And I’ll contact Captain Phasma and let her know what happened. Would-would you like that? Is that okay?” Kylo brows furrowed as he searched your red (y/e/c) eyes. With a hiccup, you nodded. Kylo started to maneuver his body away from you, in order to get up. Your arms lazily fell around as his waist. “Can you come back, please?” He turned to look at you, seeing your tired eyes, Kylo nodded. “Of course.” He took your arms and placed them across your stomach and brushed some hair behind your ear, before leaving.


	8. part 18

Never in your five years of being with the First Order did you think that the best time of your life would be spent with the Commander, Kylo Ren and his Knights of Ren. You descended onto the lush green moon and your eyes immediately lit up. Kylo moved behind you, chest practically hitting your back. “What is this place called?” You asked in amazement. “That,” Kylo placed a hand on your hip. “I cannot tell you. You shouldn’t even be here. No one is allowed.” He gently pushed you towards the small little cabin. “So I’m the first?” You turned facing him. You clutched the thick blanket that was draped over you. “Yes, you are.” Kylo tried to suppress a smile as he watched your eyes light up. “Well, lead the way.” You stepped aside so he could show you around.

“You can change and get dressed in here. The refresher is down the hall. I’ll make sure no one is in the cabin while you shower.” Kylo spoke very calmly and low. You sat on the firm bed observing your surroundings. “Here.” Kylo handed you a black pile. “Your trunk full of clothes have been returned to your ship. I have some old clothes that you could wear if you don’t mind.” “Thank you.” You looked down accepting it. He sat on the bed next to you. His knee accidentally hit yours and he decided to speak up. He coughed “It should fit. It was when I was younger.” You furrowed your brows as you couldn’t help but picture how he would look when he was younger. You started to unfold whatever was at the top of the pile to reveal a long sleeve black thermal. It was definitely too small for him now, but for you, it would be pleasantly oversized. “Um, I’ll leave you be.” Kylo stood awkwardly just watching you, running his fingers through his hair. “We’ll be outside gathering and chopping wood if you need us.” You sent him a smile and a nod before he left.

* * *

Kylo stood outside overseeing his knights, they were either chopping wood or practicing their skills. His thick arms crossed over his chest as his brown eyes scanned the men, only to stop at the girl appearing on the porch of the cabin. He watched as her (y/e/c/) eyes observed the knights, who now had their mask off. Kylo watched as you scrunched the fabric on the cuffed sleeve on his old black shirt as the wind rushed past you. His pants rippled over your small bare feet; pulling them up you started to make your way towards the Master of the Knights. A content smile fell across your lips as you felt the soft grass tickle your feet. You couldn’t help but think of your memories of playing in the yard.

You now stood directly in front of him. His lips parted as his brown orbs examined you in his clothes. He could feel his chest began to tighten as heart pounded. “Thank you for the clothes.” You looked through your lashes, peering up at him. He sucked in a breath as his eyes cast down to look at your feet. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to provide you with footwear.” His hands found his way to his hair to push it out of his face. “They were in your trunks that was sent back and all of us here are way too big to share.” Both of you looked down at your toes wiggle and scrunch the green blades. “It’s alright.” You smiled as he now you looked you in the eye. “I mean you’ve done enough, I think I can forgive you for forgetting my shoes.” You tried to remain calm, but you couldn’t help but hear your heart pulsing in your ears from his close proximity and how he spoke so low, almost in a whisper; making sure he was heard through all the commotion going around the pair.

One of his Knights respectfully interrupted the intimate conversation. But, you stood right on Kylo’s side looking off into the distance enjoying the scenery and the soft sun. Another gust of wind came to ruffle through the trees and through your wet curly hair. Mid-conversation, Kylo’s nostrils flared as he picked up a very familiar scent. It was his. He guessed it was the faint scent of his old clothes, but it was too strong to be from them. Maybe you used his soaps and shampoos left in the mass refresher. But how did you know? He pictured you smelling each soap until you found the one that smelled just like him. He was taken out of his thoughts when he heard you sneeze. His head snapped in your direction. “You need to get inside and lay down.” Hesitantly, you asked the question that was the real reason you came out here. “Umm, so I only see six rooms and me … well, I make seven.” You began to explain yourself. For some unknown reason, your face began to heat up. ‘Makers Y/N, it’s not like you’ve never slept with the man before!’ your mind scolded yourself. The knight who previously held Kylo’s attention turned to you. “If you don’t mind, you can take my room-” “No need. She will be staying with me.” Kylo moved behind you placing a guiding hand on your shoulder as he moved you to the cabin. Both you and Kylo moved through the house and up the creaky stairs in hard silence.

* * *

You walked back into the room that he first showed you. Kylo began to remove the top layer of his suit. “I-I will, the bed is very small.” You began to stutter out as you watched his pale muscles flex. “It’s okay.” He shook his raven waves as he made his way towards you. The corner of his lips tugged up because he couldn’t help but find your nervousness very endearing. It somewhat relieved him. The bed squeaked as Kylo’s heavy frame weighed it down; you were still standing at the edge of the bed, delicately holding onto the bedpost. “Y/N.” His large hand gently grabbed your wrist pulling you out of your anxiety. “Y/N, I know it looks like I can’t even fit this bed by myself, but if we could sleep on your couch, we could definitely sleep here.” You squirmed a little thinking about the time you two slept together. This would be the first time you would be actually aware of what was going on. Tonight would be the first time you weren’t drunk. With a shaky breath, you nodded. Kylo pushed himself off to his full height. “I’m going to the refresher.” His nose dipped down touching your forehead as his hot breath fanned across your cheeks. You continued to look down until you felt plump lips gently press against the tip of your nose. You peered up with wide eyes. Kylo smirked before grabbing his towel and leaving you alone.

He was so different. He was nervous yet confident, he was very persistent about his feelings towards you. Digging the heels of your palms in your eyes, you let out a muffled scream. ‘What the kriff was going on?’ you thought. You had a plan to be alone, to stay alone. Well, honestly if it was up to you, everything would be fine between you and Lucky and Matt would be a totally separate entity from Kylo Ren, who got along fine with everyone. But, since it didn’t work like that, this is exactly why you were stuck where you are now. The bed let out a groan as you fell back onto it. With your eyes closed and thoughts cloudy, you didn’t even hear Kylo enter. Kylo stayed quiet as he silently watched your mind run wild. Lazily he threw on a pair of black sweatpants as his dark eyes fixated on your figure with legs dangling off the bed. His teeth bit down on the cushion of his bottom lip, eyes watching the multiple (y/h/c) ringlets of your hair drying sprawled across the blue blanket, the way your lashes flutter as you tightly closed your eyelids, mouth moving, seemingly unpleased, yet your chest rising calmly.

“Why aren’t you sleeping yet?” Your eyes shot open at the sound of the baritone voice. “I-I’m not tired.” You sat upright. “Plus, I have to wash the bottom of my feet and I can’t get under the covers with the clothes I’ve been outside in.” You rambled on making excuses as Kylo made his way to you, towel in hand. Before you could stand, Kylo was kneeling before you grab a hold of your right foot. Mildly, he began rubbing the dirt at the bottom of your foot with his semi-wet towel. The sight made your breath hitch. Not a single soul would-could ever imagine one of the most destructive man in the galaxy would be doing something so tenderly, and willingly at that. “If you want, you can have the tee-shirt that I was going to wear.” He said fixated on cleaning every part of your foot. You couldn’t help but let your lips part slightly as he gently caressed your calf as he cleaned each foot. When he was finished he held out his hand retrieving the shirt with the force before handing it to you. He turned around so you could try and change before he would turn around. With more ruffling, your soft voice carried out “I’m done.”

Kylo turned to see you snuggled under the blanket on the right side of the bed. Kylo almost felt frozen in his place at this sight. This was what he wanted, right? All he ever wanted was to be with you and you to allow him in after all that has happened. So why did he feel like he should call it quits before anything happened. ‘You’ve done this before dammit!’ His inner self-spoke with such force, he’s pretty sure that’s what carried him to bed. Slowly he began to tuck himself in under the blue blanket. His muscles flexed as he shimmied under the covers. Kylo sucked in a breath before shutting his eyes. He held his breath, counting the time before one of you said something. “Kylo, can I-can we talk?” Your voice echoed through the almost barren room. His eyes opened to softly fall upon your strong gaze. You took the silent stare as a yes before you started. “What I told you, last night, no one knows. Nobody, not the General, not even Lucky.” your voice just above a whisper.

Kylo couldn’t help but perk up. You just admitted that you shared a secret, that was discreetly only known to those that have been there. And now with him. “I won’t. I promise.” Kylo nodded. You let out a sigh. “Everything has been so hard. These past four months have been miserable. And I just want, I just want it to go- I just want to know why’d you do it? Why me? Why did you hurt me so much?” He couldn’t help but slowly start to feel exposed, especially by this level of intimacy. His mouth drying and palms becoming sweaty as the two of you talked in bed, as any other normal couple. ‘But you aren’t a couple.’ He reminded himself. His eyes shifted away from yours, trying to find the words to say. “I-I, I didn’t mean to hurt you Y/N, truly I didn’t. It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. I wasn’t supposed to fall-” Quickly, he tried to cover up his last few words, hoping you didn’t hear it. “This is all my fault.” He slowly licked lips and you watched as the pink plump lips became glossy. “I shouldn’t have let it escalate that far. I should’ve told you once I started to develop some type of feeling. You were nothing but nice and I-I was a complete dick.” He shook his head into the pillow. “I never meant to single you out, I just, I just really enjoyed your company and the fact that you genuinely liked me.  I just was experiencing new emotions and I never really expressed. So I only acted with rage, like I do all the time. And I also understand how miserable you were.” He scoffed rolling onto his back. You still remained on your side with an unwavering gaze. Kylo’s thick forearm covered his eyes.

“I hated that day. I hated what I did to you. I hated seeing you leave me. And if that didn’t hurt enough, I not only watched you turn your back on me but everyone else on the hangar as well.” A shaky breath was let out as he tried to make sure you didn’t see the tears welling in his eye. “I don’t really care if people like me but, that scene was oh too familiar.” There was another pause before you thought he was going to continue. But he didn’t, he just replayed the memory of his days in the Jedi temple where people turned away in fear from him. “Am I supposed to feel sorry?” You said so boldly, he felt the weight on his chest crushing down on him. “No.” He turned to look at you with stinging eyes, as he held back tears. “Did you really like me, or was it-?” “No, it wasn’t a lie. It was real. Everything I did, everything I never said.” He gulped. “Did you-did you like me? Well.” “Matt.” You bit your lip and closed your eyes. You thought about the tall, awkward blond man who annoyed you, yet intrigued you. “I’d like to say I cared very much for that man in such a short period of time and I still do.”

Kylo carefully watched you as your mind played the memories of all the stolen glances and admirable gazes that you gave him unbeknownst. “I was here on this moon. I just threw myself into training. I just tried to push you to the back of mind, as much as possible. But, somehow you always found a way back; whether it was a memory, a dream, a phrase, the stars, anything. I just took that and used it to make me focus and stronger, so hopefully, you can see that I did this for you. Because I do, too, truly care about you. Even if I do a horrible job at it.” Kylo turned facing you, gently laying his calloused hand to rest on your shoulder. You opened your eyes to his touch. “Correction: A shitty job at it.” The room filled with soft laughter from the two of you. The tension and heaviness that surrounded you two seemed to fall off and slip through the cracks.


	9. Part 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankful

You stirred a little bit, feeling the rough sheets brush against your skin. With blurred vision, you opened your eyes as you tried to make out the figure in front of you. “Are you fully awake?” The voice sounded deep and muffled. A soft groan emitted from you as you popped the joints in your shoulder. Your fingers rubbed gently at your eyes as you finally adjusted to see Kylo Ren sitting in front of you. “Sir?” You squinted your eyes pushing yourself up to lean against the headboard. “Kylo.” His baritone voice bounced off the wooden walls. “Kylo?” You let out in a huff. “You made me breakfast?” You tilted your head so that you got a better view at the plate.

“I, yes. Ah, we all woke up earlier and I thought it would be best if you continued sleeping.” Kylo managed to get out. He couldn’t help but feel a knot in his stomach as he saw her eyes light up in glee. “You made it, yourself?” you asked. He nodded and tried to suppress his smile. “Here.” His large hands gripped the circumference of the plate as he pushed it towards you. “Is that eggs on toast?” He heard the disappointing tone and immediately became defensive. “Do you not like eggs on-” “No, no, I just always keep it on the side.” You yanked the plate out of his hand before he could say anything. He watched with eager eyes as she tentatively picked up on of the slices of taste and bit into it. Kylo watched as you slowly chewed the food. Brown and (y/e/c) stayed locked on each other, intently sitting in the room; only the sound of chewing and the wind rustling could be heard. “It’s good?” “Yup, It’s good.” You sent him a quick smile.

Kylo’s gaze quickly averted yours, as he coughed and once again ran a shaky hand through his black mane. And you noticed. “About last night,” He spoke up. “I’m, I just wanted to tell you that I’m glad to know that you’re getting better and I’m happy to see that you’re opening up to me. And I know it won’t be the same as before, but I appreci-thank you.” He ended his statement almost like an acceptance speech. You settled the plate that once rested on your blanketed knees to the side of you and reaches for his hand. “Kylo.” Your face twisted, pondering over the sound of his name on your tongue. It could take some getting used to; because when you looked at him, you still saw Matt. “Sorry, it still doesn’t feel right.” “It actually sounds really nice.” Kylo sent her a comforting smile. “You are right it won’t be the same because now, wait!” You paused (y/e/c) eyes going wide. Kylo straightened as he became hyper aware of his surroundings. “What?” He narrowed his eyes. The hand that laid on top of his was completely engulfed by his large extremity. “Do you feel it?” You whispered moving closer. His brows furrowed as he leaned closer. “The tension.” You sent him a sly smile, squeezing his hand. His shoulders slumped in releasing its previous perched position. “You’re insufferable.” He rolled his eyes. He watched as a wide smile graced her lips as she laid back down on the bed. You let a giggle before speaking “That was my favorite thing about Matt.” Your eyes landed on him. “I’m glad you’re still a good sport for some teasing.”

* * *

That whole day was just filled with very “discreet” flirting. Of course, the Knights being good Knights stayed focus on their assignment that Kylo had specifically given them. While he sent you obvious glances or would actually come over and talk to you. Which is where you were at now. Kylo gave you his datapad, which had a master pass and would be able to log in as a user. “Here, you’ll be able to keep up with your work even though you aren’t on base.” Kylo’s datapad was so much bigger than the standard kind. It had to be because his hands were so massive. It was kind of hard to hold, but man was it fast. But to be honest, you were barely focused on your work. You couldn’t help but watch Kylo as he sparred with one of his Knights. He was in nothing but a black tank top and his black pants and boots. His biceps glistened under the sun as a layer of sweat covered them. “Be careful of your form.” He spoke. “If you go in like this, you can break your wrist. Like the Prince did.” Kylo sent you a glance because he didn’t want to bring up any memories or emotion. Instead, he saw you quickly shoot your head down trying to hide the fact that you were checking him out.

“What are you working on?” The bass in his voice sent vibrations running through you. “OH!” You turned only to be nose to nose with Kylo. You tried to catch your breath but all this close contact, his stare, his arms, and you staring as well, was just a little dizzying. Quickly, you faced forward looking back down. “I’m just catching up on some reports and the projects my members are currently working on.” A soft tickling sensation sent you squirming into his arms as he barely rested his chin in the crook of your neck. The ends of his hairs tickled your skin and his large hand laid flat on your stomach pushing you back into him. Kylo began to dip his nose down to trace your jaw. “My Lord,” One of the Knights called out. Kylo’s eyes fiercely snapped up to the Knight. He froze under his master’s gaze. “The clouds, a storm is coming. Should we evacuate with the Ambassador, or do you want us to prepare the cabin?” Kylo lifted his head from your neck, only for you to inch away from him. You were slightly embarrassed that you were caught cuddling into your superior, even though it was only his Knights. Who could they possibly tell? They only talked amongst themselves. “No, just prepare the usual, she’s a strong girl.”

These words and his calloused fingers skim across your lower back under his old faded black shirt caused you to shudder. “We should get you inside.” He gently pushed you off the log you were currently sitting on. “Why? I thought you said I was a strong girl?” You teasingly challenged him. A smirk formed on his plump lips as he leaned forward. “I don’t want all my men to see you wet.” Whispering and purposefully brushing his lips against your ears. “O-o-ok.” You stammered barely audible, trying to pull yourself together. Entering the cabin, you finally worked up the courage to speak. “So what do you guys do to prepare?” You asked. “We just set up a big fire in the pit-” “Like campfire? Like a camping sleepover?” You couldn’t help bounce a little as your mind wandered to all the Knights gossiping around the campfire in pajamas. “Not like that, Ambassador.” Kylo chuckled, shaking his head. He watched as your shoulders slumped. You couldn’t help but want to be apart of a ‘Knights Only’ Moon Slumber Party. Kylo couldn’t help but feel the tugging sensation that your rejected emotions projected. He gritted his teeth before a low “Fine.” Slipped out of his mouth. A wide smile painted your face as you began to bounce again. His hands found your waist and gripped them gently. “Only if, you tell them. Not me.” Biting your lip you shook your head, then sprinted off to alert the Knights.

* * *

Kylo watched as her eyes leaped from one Knight to the next as she sat rather close to him. Everyone was gathered around a buried pit where the fire and heat emitted from. He could feel the happiness generating off of her as she watched them all talk, joke and tell stories with one another, as she nibbled on the stale cookie in her hand. “I have a joke!” The words shouted out of his mouth so fast, even he was shocked. They all turned to look at their master, silence awaiting the opener. “How is sex like a game of sabacc?” They all pondered over possible answers and Kylo couldn’t help but furrow his brows at the ill joke he overheard in his younger years. “If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.” The men roared as some clapped at their master’s joke. You didn’t laugh, it wasn’t that it was a terrible joke, it was just the delivery was dry and you definitely heard Seventies say it at one of the parties and with his gestures, no one could top that. Kylo turned his body to face yours. Why weren’t you laughing? It was funny! He broke into a smirk “You think you can do better?” He was clearly amused. “Go ahead.” You cleared your throat, from the dry cookie that you gave up on. “I have one.” Your sweet voice ushered in a silence from all. “What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?” Your eyes got bigger and a smile broke out at all the confused man. “Hold onto your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob!” You watched their shocked expression turn to genuine fits of laughter, some even toppling over each other.

“Oh Ambassador, I never would’ve expected that to come out of your mouth. But, good job.” One sent you a thumbs up. Proud was an understatement. You turned to send a smile to Kylo to see him covered in a deep blush. Kylo didn’t know whether to be upset that you had one up him or be embarrassed, he remembered passing out from the blowjob you gave him months ago. How could he ever live this down? He didn’t know why he thought, hoped, you would forget it. But, clearly, you didn’t. “Where did you hear that from?” Kylo asked shyly. He was trying to remain calm while looking at your innocent smile. “Seventies told it to me.” He watched you shrug it off. You looked up to see his eyes gazing at his disciples as they carried on with their laughter. Covertly, you gently pressed a kiss between his jaw and earlobe. “Relax.” You whispered, “I never told anyone what happened in the closet.” From the kiss, the feeling of your lips on his ears, the tickling sensation, and the sly in your voice, another blush covered him as he turned to look at you with wide eyes. ‘What are you doing?’ His thoughts screamed at him. ‘Get it together before your Knights see!’ “Time for bed!” Kylo stood up briskly as everyone let out a groan. You peered up at the towering man as his gaze held a steady gaze. ‘Wait.’ His voice lingered in your head. All the Knights situated themselves in their makeshift sleeping bags. Kylo then beckoned you to where you two would be sleeping. It was far in the corner, far from the heat. You thought this was because he just wanted to oversee his Knights; but the real reason was that, the colder you are, the more you would wrap around him. Kylo didn’t know how many second chances he had left with you, so he was for sure going to take advantage of it.

* * *

In the middle of the night, you couldn’t help but stir as a breeze slipped in from under the door. Not to mention the rain hitting the cabin hard. If those couldn’t wake you then the loud roar of thunder certainly did. Jumping up to an upright position, you clenched your chest. Steadying your breathing, you went to lay back down. Your hand fell to touch your sleeping buddy, only to realize he was gone. No wonder you were cold, that was basically your personal heater. Squinting in the dark, your eyes maneuvered around looking for him. Finding him sitting in the same position he was in much earlier in the night; carefully you toed of the other Knights to their Master. “You should be sleep.” His baritone voice made you halt. “I should say the same to you.” A surge of confidence hit you as you went to sit next to him. He shuffled a little away from you and you couldn’t help but lose it. You thought this was going somewhere, whatever this was. “No.” Kylo’s long pale fingers brushed over the back of your hand. You interlocked your fingers as both of your hearts pounded uncontrollably. “Why aren’t you sleeping?” He asked, focus still on the buried pit. “The thunder woke me up.” You didn’t want to admit that without him, the sleep wasn’t comfortable. A smirk tugged at his lips as your thought projected in his mind. “Why aren’t you sleeping?” You asked and before he could tug his hand out of yours, you kept a tight grip. “Hey.” Fingers brushed against his hairline as Kylo sucked in a breath. You were closer now, he could feel her breath hit his cheek. “I had-” He contemplated over his next words: ‘Nightmare, what would she think? She would deem me childish.’ He cleared his throat. “I-I had a dream.” “Like a nightmare?” Her whisper could be mistaken as a gasp. All he could do was a nod in response. “Do you want to talk about it?” His eyes closed, leaning more into your fingers as they worked their way over his scalp. He forgot to answer and you spoke once more. “Did someone hurt you?” Kylo opened his eyes to find your (y/e/c) eyes filled with worriment. It was quite some time before anyone said anything. He didn’t have the heart to tell it was about her, he didn’t even want to believe that it was most likely a vision. He would do everything to protect you.

The comfortable silence and the heat from the fire swirled around you too. The tip of his angular nose found it’s placed along your jaw. Gently he traced along the line of your jaw as your fingers began to curl the raven locks at the nape of his neck. Foreheads found each other stuck together with sweat from the heat. Eyes strained to stay open, from sleepiness and the smoke-filled air. The hand that wasn’t holding yours slowly slid up your side, reaching up for calloused fingers to dance across your cheek. You cast your eyes downwards to his pink plush lips. A memory of him nervously pecking your lips in his office when he was Matt ran through your mind; a smile and a soft giggle found it’s way to you. Kylo saw the memory too and he couldn’t help but smile. His lips jerked forward, almost involuntary. He froze, soft darkening eyes watching over all of your features, causing goosebumps to trail up your arms and trickle down your spine. ‘Seize the moment.’ His long fingers curled the back of your neck leaning you forward. Your eyes were already closed when his nose gently found its place smushed against your cheek. Next was the brush of his wet plump lips, almost shaking with hunger and nerves. You didn’t hesitate whether he wanted more, you sure did; opening your mouth wider a moan slipped out and Kylo’s tongue quickly muffled the next one that was about to spill from your lips. As your tongues became partners in a grand dance, the heat pooling from you and the fire was too much to handle. Brows furrowed, you let out a whine, only for Kylo to bit down gently on your swelling bottom lip. You could hear his breath becoming more ragged the more you guys continued kissing. Lips were numbing and teething clacking against each other, like the rain hitting the windows of the cabin; finally breaking from the kiss, both felt lightheaded as they stared at each other clearly captivated.

* * *

The ride back to the Finalizer wasn’t as awkward as you thought it was going to be. The Knights were definitely chummier with you after last nights antics and Kylo seem to be drifting off onto the side, known as ‘leading’ role. Here and there your eye would wander off to him, but never too long for the Knights to notice. Even though, you’re pretty sure they did. The Finalizer came into view and soon the shuttle was swallowed whole. Everyone began to unstrap and get themselves prepared to exit. You lingered behind, taking your time to do everything. Kylo had lingered off somewhere in his shuttle and you were unaware of this until you felt your whole body freeze. Gasping, your eyes grew in shock as he sauntered towards you with that ‘incredible smirk adorning that beautiful face’ you thought. A blush crept up and halted his movements, thus releasing you. Once free, you made your way towards him. “I like that I can make you blush.” Your voice was so soft, yet echoed off the walls. The pad of your right thumb brushed against his reddening cheek and he averted his gaze. Kylo heard you giggle, finding the courage to look at you once more.

“I’m happy.” Was all he said and it left you a little confused; his voice was so soft, almost a sigh. “I haven’t felt that in light years; you trust me again, I’m happy. Are you happy?” He tentatively asked. You broke out into that sweet smile he liked. “Of course I’m happy!” You started to giggle and he followed suit. This felt normal, all of this felt normal. Like a couple who had worked through all their problems and were back to rebuilding their relationship. “But you know what would make me even happier?” Kylo watched as she spun on her heels and made her way towards the ramp. “What?” He asked amused. “A Galaxy Bun.” He snorted “Was my cooking that bad?” You turned around to see his crooked schoolboy smile. “Well…” You began to trail off before he caught you by your arm and pulled you close to him. You watched his brown eyes search all over your face. “You’re very beautiful, but you’re very mean,” Kylo said without trying to break his serious facade. “I can say the same about you!” Elevating, you gently kissed the tip of his nose. The feeling of his eyelashes fluttering against your cheek made your stomach jump around. Craning his neck, he steadily laid his lips against yours and let out a breathy sigh. You didn’t need the force to know there was something wrong, you backed and looked up with searching (y/e/c) eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“UH, Y/N!” You jumped at the sound of your name. Turning left, you saw Hux and Phasma making their way quickly towards you; well Phasma trying to keep up with a power walking Hux. “Ambassador, welcome back. I hope your stay wasn’t vexatious.” He rolled his ice blue eyes. “I can only imagine what it must have been like to stay for two days with them. His goonies are probably far better than Ren.” Another eye roll. “Urgh, Ren.” “Hux.” Kylo appeared from behind you and if you wasn’t face to face with the General, you might’ve missed his twitch. But, it was soon replaced with another eye roll. “Anyways, I’m pretty sure the Ambassador is tired and would like to go to her own personal quarters.” Hux moved to sandwich you between him and Phasma. Everyone began to walk until you heard “Goodbye, Y/N.” You paused and so did everyone else. “Goodbye?” You turned to look at him. “Kyl-Commander?” Confusion rushed through you. “There are no more missions, well, at least for another six months I believe. And I’m not allowed back on the Finalizer.” There was so much sorrow in his voice, you could feel your heart breaking as tears started to fill your eyes. ‘Six months?’ you thought. For those three months, you barely kept it together and you hated him. Do you think you could go six months with all these resurfaced feelings and everything in the right place?

“Oh, Y/N don’t fall for this charade.” Hux spat. “Hux!” Phasma shout-whispered. While you just stared at Kylo with teary eyes. “No,” You whispered, “I don’t want you to go.” You spun making your way to Hux. “I’m sorry Hux. I don’t want him to leave me again.” Blue eyes searched yours in bewilderment, holding his breath: “Darlingareyousurehonestlyyoucantbeinyourrightmindto allowthiswouldyouliketosleepoveritfirstandletusknowinthemorningwheneverythingisbacktonormal?” Hux asked in one breath, fingers firm on your shoulders. Shaking your head yes, he was about to begin again before Phasma cut him off. “Fine.”He gritted his teeth. “Phasma take her to her quarters. Ren comes with me.” He snarled. Phasma nodded and proceeded to follow suit. Giving Kylo one last look, you saw he already put on his helmet and was already brooding next to the General. “Welcome back, Angel. Are you alright?” Phasma asked. “Thank you, yes.” You turned down a corridor and into an elevator. “He told you what happened?” She nodded. “I’m glad you’re safe and listening to what you want, Angel.” Without thought, you crashed into her armor, embracing her in a tight hug. “Thank you so much Phasma, for everything.” Her chuckle made the suit vibrate. “Call me Phasmom.” “Okay, Phasmom.” Laughter filled the elevators. “Oh, and Lucky is looking for you.”

* * *

“You’re unbelievable Ren.” Hux spat at the man. “Why couldn’t you leave her alone! Out of all the female workers on this ship, you had to choose her!” Hux tightened his fist. Kylo scoffed at him. “Why, are you jealous?” Blue eyes sent daggers Kylo’s way and for the first time, slightly, he feared Hux. “NO!” Hux shouted. “You don’t get to treat this as some type of joke!” He pointed his finger, charging at Ren. “You don’t take anything seriously! Not her, not the Order! You walk around here above everyone, but with her, I will not let you corrupt her! Not then and not now.” Kylo’s back was now pressed against the wall. His face was now a matching shade of his hair. Hux started to regulate his breathing and turn to walk to his desk.”You think I’m not serious?” Kylo asked offended. Hux turned around dumbfounded. “You expect me to believe that after everything?” He rolled his eyes. “I-I was lost without her when I was away. And I did everything to make it right. Even though I don’t understand them, you can’t disregard my feelings.” His jaw clenched. Hux’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Feelings?” He scoffed. “You’ve disregarded her feelings since the moment you laid eyes on her. Toying with her emotions. While you were off doing makers know what, she was here absolutely TERRIFIED! After the first night, she woke in a terror. The only way she would sleep was with the help of medicine. She refused to talk to anyone and getting her to talk to a therapist.” He tsked and downed his brown drink. Kylo’s eyes cast down as he knew that Hux was purposefully pushing these memories of you crying, mute and scared. “If you are going to do this, you are going to do this properly!” Hux yelled. “You will treat her like the most precious star in the galaxy! With kindness, respect, give her everything because she deserves it.” His voice started to fall silent as the two men began staring at each other. “So what do I do?” Kylo asked politely catching Hux by surprise. “Well, you start off by giving her a long overdue first date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: It’s time to do the much overdue event of SNA: Kylo and Angel’s first date. Like boy! It’s been like 5EVER it’s about time.


	10. Part 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the moment you’ve all been waiting for… (Cherubs and nymphs sing)

Pouring yourself some starship juice, you were startled by a knock at the door. You opened it to see none other than Lee. “Hello Lee, how are you?” He nodded. “Well, Ambassador. General Hux has requested your presence.” You nodded and began to follow him. The walk to his office seemed extremely longer than usual and you couldn’t help that your stomach was whirling at what was about to happen. You knew it had to be about Kylo, and the General hated Kylo, what if he hated you now? Your mind went frantic. The door slid open and there stood Kylo and Hux. “Come in.” Hux beckoned. Entering, the door closed behind you. You stood awkwardly beside Kylo. “I do not support…whatever this is,” Hux spoke, facing you. In one swift motion, he was cradling your hands in his icy, pale ones. “Y/N, are you sure? Are you truly sure this is what you want?”

“Yes.” Your voice so soft and sure, which made him wince. He was hoping that you would actually take the time to think things through. His blue eyes glared at the tall figure behind, gritting his teeth. “Fine.” He spat before his slender fingers maneuvered over his datapad. “If you guys want to be a…couple.” He spat, eyes growing darker each second. “Then there are some things you need to fill out: consent form, permits, obligations.” He rambled hoping it would make both or at least one of them want to back out. But the universe seemed to be against him as they signed them without hesitation. Hux clenched his fist the whole time, staring menacingly at the two of you. It was then he thought, he’d push them together so much, they’d grow sick of one another.

The last signature was signed and handed to the General. “Well,” Hux sighed. Kylo saw you turn to him with shining (y/e/c) eyes and immediately felt the blush spread all over his face. Hux rolled his eyes and nudged his head. “Right,” Kylo coughed. “Um, Y/N, would you like, Hux said it would be best-” Hux groaned at Kylo’s incompetence. “I should take you on a first date.” Kylo’s heart began to beat faster as your lips twitched up into a smile. “Would you like that?” He gulped, all the blood rushing to his ears made it harder to hear. “Yes, I’d like that.” You smiled. Relief washed over him, he turned to walk out before you called out to him. “When should I be ready?” It was clear that Kylo never went or knew anything about a date. “Umm…” Hux facepalmed, it was sure that this relationship would not last. “How about 22:00, Ren? Gives everyone a nice amount of time to figure outfits and locations.” Hux chirped up. “Y-yes. And I have a location, i-it’s a surprise.” Kylo said even though he knew he had no idea. “Well come on darling,” Hux led you out the door. “You have a date to prepare for.” As a reflex, your arms wrapped around his neck. “Thank you, Hux.”

* * *

You stood in the mirror observing yourself in the champagne pink fitted dress. One of the dressers placed a necklace of dark jewels around your next. Your breath hitched as you looked at yourself in the mirror; after months, it still took you some time getting used to seeing yourself dressed and dare say happy, since you haven’t been in a long time. The door to your quarters opened for Phasma to walk in. Her chrome helmet turned towards you. “You look beautiful, Angel.” “I would like it if everyone stopped referring to her as ‘Angel’, I cannot stand it. And beautiful? There will be nothing less.” Hux said shifting the necklace on your neck to center it. “Thank you, Phasma.” You smiled. Moving to the couch, you began to put on your heels. “Do-do you know where he is taking me? Or doing?” You looked up to, the now helmetless Phasma. “I don’t know.” Phasma replied. She moved closer to you, waiting for an invitation to sit next to you. You nodded and she sat. “Have you ever been on a date before?” She whispered. You bit your lip, trying to contain a blushing smile. “No, never. Is it silly that I’m scared and excited at the same time?” Your (y/e/c) gleamed at the countless possibilities that could happen.

“No, it’s perfectly normal. I broke my dates nose before.” You were shocked at her confession. “He deserved it. And I’m giving you this.” She handed you a repellent. “Men always act like you owe them something after a good time. I don’t think Ren would, but just in case. You accepted and put the strap with the spray on your thigh. Hux walked from the kitchen, with a drink in hand. You looked him over before speaking, “Have you ever been on a date Hux?” He looked at his drink and replied: “Plenty and I can do without them.” Lips twisting into a frown, you settled back on your couch. So far these two weren’t making you feel any better. A memory flashed through your mind and you smiled. “My-my mother told me that my father took her on a secret date.” The two superiors looked at you. “It was on the Death Star and they had to sneak around. He snuck into the kitchen to get them food and they almost got caught by Tarkin.” You chuckled. “She said that it was his quick thinking in the heat of the moment that she knew he was the one.” You sighed, thinking how much that changed. “Are you ready?” Phasma stood. You nodded and all three were off.

* * *

Nestled between Phasma and Hux, you tried your best to contain your nervousness as you approached the lone door at the end of the hallway. Before Hux could enter the could enter the code, the door slid open. Kylo turned around wearing his signature all black and a turtleneck. He gasped as his eyes took you all in. You felt yourself growing hot with all this attention. Slowly you started to make your way toward him and so did he. “Hi.” Was all you were able to get out as you stared up into his shimmering brown eyes. “You look so beautiful.” His lips twitched up into a smile. A cough from behind them brought them out of their trance. “Very well, it’s approximately 22:00 and this date has officially commenced and will end at 23:30. Troopers will be stationed outside waiting, so they can return her to her quarters or if she wishes to leave earlier.” Hux said before turning on his heels. “Enjoy yourselves.” Phasma nodded. Hux turned back “Watch yourselves.” And with that, they left.

* * *

The dinner was amazing! However, the date itself wasn’t that good. Both of you never go on a date had no clue what to do and sat there in silence most of the time. Conversations seemed short every time you tried to start it. It was also very clear that Kylo was uncomfortable; the way his large form would wiggle in the seat and even though it was just you two, the atmosphere was stuffy and snooty. “Are you ok?” You asked gently. “Yes.” Was all he said as pulled at his turtleneck. You looked around the room to see the precise, overcompensating decor that was black, gold and white. “Hux did this, didn’t he?” You sighed. “What?! No, I-I did.” Kylos eyes went wide. Kylo looked into your (y/e/c) eyes and sighed, he couldn’t lie to you. “Hux told me you deserve a proper date and he told me my idea was ridiculous.” He picked at the linen tablecloth. “But I’m on a date with you, not him.” You moved your hand over his. “Go on, what did you want to do?” He looked you over before looking down. “I wanted to take you flying.” “Flying?” You furrowed your brows. He took your tone as mocking him. He deflated instantly, mentally scolding himself. “Why?” You asked. “I was going to take you in my TIE and-“ “You have a TIE?” You interrupted. He only nodded. “Can-can I see it?” You leaned forward. He read emotions and you genuinely seem interested. “Of course.” He smiled, helping you out the chair. Opening the doors, at least four troopers were lined against the walls. “Ambassador, we are here to escort you to your quarters.” You went to say something but Kylo interjected. “No need, she’s with me.” “General Hux said once she leaves this room the date is officially over.” Kylo snarled at the trooper. With a wave of the hand, all the troopers were thrown to the other side. Kylo grabbed your hand and you hesitated to leave with him. Seeing that brought back when he did that to Lucky. But, you still went with him.

Making it to the hangar was hard work. Sneaking from Hux was hard and running in heels were even harder. But as you approached the sleek TIE ‘Silencer’ as Kylo named it. It was all worth it. Kylo allowed you to go in since there’s only room for one. Your fingers guided over the controls and sleek metal as he explained it. “You were going to take me flying, with only one seat?” You looked back at him. “If you count my lap that’s two.” He whispered so no one could hear. Even though in this section of the hangar was specifically off-limits to anyone without permission from the head Knight himself. Goosebumps crept up your arm at his answer. “It’s our first date and you want me to ride you.” It was his turn to blush, turning his head so you couldn’t see it. “Where were you going to take me?” You asked. “It was a surprise, but, there are a group of space travelers, Ravagers, that when one of their own dies, they give them a breathtaking farewell.” He looked out dramatically into space. “That’s quite morbid, I understand why Hux said no. He let out a deep breath and moved back to let you out, “Is it still too late to go?” His eyes lit up and he stepped into the TIE practically squishing you out of excitement.

* * *

Everything looked exactly the same and you were sure you were lost. “We aren’t lost.” Kylo huffed behind you. You felt like a child having to sit on his lap and he was still able to see over you, even though he preferred placing his head between the crook of your neck. You trusted Kylo when it came to flying, it was practically in his blood. But the sight of all these stars was making you sick. It was a never-ending sequence of balls of gas on a black background. Your chest began to rise slowly, you also thought about when he kidnapped you and had you up here.Your hands tightly grabbed the hem of your dress, trying to push out the memory before he saw it. You shut your eyes for what felt like hours, before Kylo’s nose nudged your chin. “We are here.” The bass in his voice vibrated on your back and you opened your eyes to “More stars.” You said unimpressed. He chuckled. “We are in space.” You pouted. “Maybe we missed it.” He looked down at you and brushed the hair out of your face. “We’ll wait a few minutes and then go, okay?” You looked up at him and nodded.

It was going on the thirty-third minute, you were growing restless. You groaned resting your head on his shoulder. “Kylo, I’m tired. Can we just go?” Kylo rubbed his hand up and down your arm. “Just a little bit more.” This was the seventh time he had said that. You did your best to turn around. “No, we are going to leave now! This dress is uncomfortable and so is this position and my feet hurt and I-” “Look.” Was all he said as his dark eyes fixed on the glass in front of him. You turned to see thousands of ships jumping out of hyperspace. “Ho-how did you know about this?” You asked watching as more jumped in. “My-my father used to take me.”  In a matter of seconds, there were an array of colorful lights. A shower and show of fireworks dance across the starlight universe. Your mouth fell in such awe and beauty. “When I die, I want this.” You said. “As long as you’re with me, you’ll never die.” His hand moved your chin towards him as he laid a passionately gentle kiss on your lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.: Uh, yes I fucking did put GoTG in this, that is my fucking movie and that scene was downright beautiful af, I want that at my funeral too. Hit me up with comments, concerns, jokes, reminding me that Kylo Ren passed out when he got a blowjob, anything. I JUST WANT TO STATE: Right now, from this point on, no matter what happens in the sequel trilogy, this series will end the way I want it to end. Events that I want to happen. People I choose to die. AND SUPER THANKFUL FOR ALL THE SNA FANS THOSE FROM THE BEGINNING AND THOSE TUNING IN NOW!!! I just want to say thank you for everything <3


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